Why do people freak out about sexuality?

I was watching some dumb television show yesterday. It was cancelled years ago, so it isn't even worth mentioning the name. That being said, I found myself extremely annoyed with the portrayal of the daughter, who is a lesbian.

The show lets the fact that she is a lesbian completely consume her character. It wasn't even done well - the whole thing was extremely over the top. I don't know if I was offended because people often think I am a lesbian (I've had exes accuse me of leaving them for a woman, which hasn't ever happened - yet), or that I have a girlfriend who is a strong, gorgeous, intelligent, polite, awesome lesbian, but I do know I was irritated.The character totally misrepresents the gay community. It made her completely an "other" and made her sexuality seem unnatural.

Why does gender freak people out so much that they have to put people in little boxes and file them away somewhere? Sexuality shouldn't really be based only on our gender. That's dumb. Why can't sexuality be person-driven? If you find someone attractive in every way, why would the gender become an issue? My boyfriend teases me about my "lesbianism." But, when it comes down to it, he doesn't care if I am attracted to women or not, as long as he "does it for me."

I don't know that I have enough knowledge of gender issues to really explore this topic, but it does make me think about our society and how everything seems to revolved around gender differences and what we are and are not allowed to do. What is and isn't natural.

My girlfriend pointed out that people are very put off by people who aren't like them, and by portraying gays as over the top they are sort of able to dehumanize them. They are the ultimate Other, she says. And, she is right.

Sexuality should totally just be person-driven. I'm in a serious relationship with a guy, but if i were single and a woman "did it for me," I would like to think I wouldn't be afraid to pursue that. But don't stress out and hide your women from me. I mostly just think they make good friends. :)