Most women are awful. I sometimes get ready for work at the gym in the morning after a workout. Today was something special. I spent 20 minutes listening the a back and forth between two vapid bitches.
There was a back and forth from everything to hating on girls that were supposedly their friends to what is considered an acceptable date or what a guy should spend. The most annoying was a girl hating on the bride in a wedding for which she was a bridesmaid. The comments were mean at best.
Now I remember why I have very few female friends. Those I am friends with have been around for a very long time, or there was some kind of spark between us. The problem is, I then end up having mostly guys as friends, which works, because they are easy. Well, that is what they would like you to think. In the last few months I have learned guys can be almost as bad. The only difference is that they will tell you shit to your face, which works for me.
The other sad thing is that even though I love my boys, they will never really understand you the way your best girl could. My therapist even told me that I need more women in my life. Which, is sort of funny considering my ex thinks I am a lesbian.
yea, that was a total ramble. Long story long, most women are terrible. The problem is that we need each other, so for those so very few of you who are my friends, I am eternally grateful. And to my boys, I love you, too, but in a different way. The beers and video games sort of way.
Anyway, if your bachelorette party is at Joe's Crab Shack this weekend, reconsider your bridal party.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
You are only as old as your hobbies
I am an old lady at heart. well, that is partly true, anyway. When I am not being a 5-year old, I am an old lady at heart. I like my gin and punk teens bother me. I like my theatre, too. But what is really driving this thought is my love of old-lady crafts and hobbies.
I hauled my boyfriend to the store the other day to gather scrapbook supplies. Yes, there it is. I just spent way too much money on scrapbook supplies. He just laughed at me. The lady at the check out pointed out to him that if he didn't stop laughing at me, he might come home to a pink bathroom with little daisy's everywhere. Susan,I didn't know you yesterday, but right now, I love you. Oh the evil. mwahahahahahaha. Of course, after his comment about my sticker purchases, he just might wake up with stickers all over his face.
In addition to the fact that I am so looking forward to drinking a gin martini and scrapbooking on the floor while my kitties play with paper scraps, I am going to be treated to a knitting lesson from my girlfriend. I can't freaking wait.
I really like this stuff: memory keeping, creating things for my home, decorating, baking. I am not amazing at all of them, but I like them. I love my home and my life and these sorts of activities make me appreciate it all the more. Not really sure why.
I hauled my boyfriend to the store the other day to gather scrapbook supplies. Yes, there it is. I just spent way too much money on scrapbook supplies. He just laughed at me. The lady at the check out pointed out to him that if he didn't stop laughing at me, he might come home to a pink bathroom with little daisy's everywhere. Susan,I didn't know you yesterday, but right now, I love you. Oh the evil. mwahahahahahaha. Of course, after his comment about my sticker purchases, he just might wake up with stickers all over his face.
In addition to the fact that I am so looking forward to drinking a gin martini and scrapbooking on the floor while my kitties play with paper scraps, I am going to be treated to a knitting lesson from my girlfriend. I can't freaking wait.
I really like this stuff: memory keeping, creating things for my home, decorating, baking. I am not amazing at all of them, but I like them. I love my home and my life and these sorts of activities make me appreciate it all the more. Not really sure why.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
True Conversations While Playing Video Games
True conversations while playing Video games with the bf
The man downloaded a mini game version of war hammer for the ps3. It is basically a fun little dungeon crawler that we can play cooperatively. I get to run around and kill things while collecting points and prizes. Of course he knew I would like it. I love running around exploding foes, I don't know why. Anyway, the following two conversations really happened while playing. The first one happened when I had powered my character up enough for a special move and the second after we needed health and realized we could share it if we were in close enough range.
Power Up Conversation:
Me: (My character is on special move and zooming around exploding foes erratically) Woooooohoooooooooo. ahahahahahahaha. weeeeeeeeeeee! I'm like gir in mech armor! Wooooooooo.
Boyfriend: Lol, yes.
Health:
Me: I need health!
Boyfriend: There's one over there. Crap! (he accidentally grabbed it first)
Me: Damn!
Boyfriend: Wait! It's healing us both! I think if we stand next to each other it will heal us both. Cuddle Marines!
Me: Cuddle marines!
a few minutes later - after deciding we were definitely referring the proximity of shared special effects as Cuddling. :)
Me: I got a healy!
Boyfriend: Cuddle! I need health, too!
Me: Get over here, cuddle!
Boyfriend: We could write our own chapter of space marines called cuddle marines.
Me: Yea! wait, don't you think we would get kicked out of the space marines if they caught us cuddling? I am pretty sure that isn't allowed. I am pretty sure two brothers of the space marines would get in a lot of trouble cuddling.
Boyfriend: Lol, yea.
The man downloaded a mini game version of war hammer for the ps3. It is basically a fun little dungeon crawler that we can play cooperatively. I get to run around and kill things while collecting points and prizes. Of course he knew I would like it. I love running around exploding foes, I don't know why. Anyway, the following two conversations really happened while playing. The first one happened when I had powered my character up enough for a special move and the second after we needed health and realized we could share it if we were in close enough range.
Power Up Conversation:
Me: (My character is on special move and zooming around exploding foes erratically) Woooooohoooooooooo. ahahahahahahaha. weeeeeeeeeeee! I'm like gir in mech armor! Wooooooooo.
Boyfriend: Lol, yes.
Health:
Me: I need health!
Boyfriend: There's one over there. Crap! (he accidentally grabbed it first)
Me: Damn!
Boyfriend: Wait! It's healing us both! I think if we stand next to each other it will heal us both. Cuddle Marines!
Me: Cuddle marines!
a few minutes later - after deciding we were definitely referring the proximity of shared special effects as Cuddling. :)
Me: I got a healy!
Boyfriend: Cuddle! I need health, too!
Me: Get over here, cuddle!
Boyfriend: We could write our own chapter of space marines called cuddle marines.
Me: Yea! wait, don't you think we would get kicked out of the space marines if they caught us cuddling? I am pretty sure that isn't allowed. I am pretty sure two brothers of the space marines would get in a lot of trouble cuddling.
Boyfriend: Lol, yea.
Friday, August 5, 2011
Girl gamers: Why aren't there more of us?
Video Games
Eventually, I would like to make this an actual paper, but for now, I am blogging it.
I am girl gamer. Okay, it's out. My big questions are - Why aren't there more of us? and Also, what is it that makes us want to or not want to play video games? i feel like, if I can answer that, I can answer the whole "why won't my girlfriend play video games?" question I am sure guys, well, at least hardcore gamer guys, sometimes wonder. I really come to these questions because I went through a weird phase where I completely stopped playing games. I am slowly getting back into it, but I dramatically swapped from games all the time to nothing. What happened? Why did I stop, why am I getting back into it now. I think in my case, it has to do with the relationships I was in and am in now. This could be a part of an answer to my question. So, I will start with this, my own personal experience, and then perhaps branch out to other possible reasons.
The thing is, I played video games since I was very young. I loved the Nintendo, and later the SNES, then the PS, PS2, and eventually my PS3. I loved playing computer games and console games. I loved the text based computer games for awhile, until we got a better computer and I could play doom, diablo, the 7th guest. OMG games. My older brother and I would network our computers together and game all the time. We would play in our separate bedrooms, using the game to chat. Total nerds. My girlfriend and i would stay up all night trying to beat one game or another. I remember when I brought the lion king to her house, she sat my ass down and I couldn't leave until the game was completed. When I got older, I would rush home from work - usually around 11pm because I worked at restaurant - head up to my room and play games until I passed out. When I met my now-ex-DB boyfriend, I told him I liked video games. It was one of the reasons he ended up pursuing me and asking me out. I played a few with him and then I just stopped.
WTF? I LOVED games, and all of a sudden, I avoided playing them. I would make up all kinds of excuses to get out of playing a game with him, yet when he got me the newest Spyro for Christmas, I totally put in the two 10 hour gaming sessions to beat it.
I think I now know why I stopped playing games with him, but it is really weird. I hated playing games with him because he was so controlling about it. I never did anything the right way. Instead of helping me in a new game by explaining something, he would just tell me what to do. n other circumstances, he would straight take the controller from me. Even games I liked and I was good at, he would act like I was a complete idiot. Only when it was just the two of us, though, which was weird. We would often have another couple or two over to play Diablo or Warhammer. I would reluctantly join, but then he would be really nice. Patronizing almost. I had been broken down to the point where I would ask him "Did I do okay? I held the beach really well, didn't I?" I needed his approval. It got so bad that I stopped even asking for help if I even tried to play a game. I would hand him the controller or ask him to tell me how to make a character. It made me not want to play.
Those two 10 hour gaming sessions I put in for my love of Spyro...I got through it, even when I would get stuck in place and he would try to take the controller, or say I must have done something wrong. I was like "Back teh fuck off, bitch. Spyro is MY game." Yea yea its a girl game, but whatever.
This is especially weird because when we started dating, it wasn't like that at all. He respected my mad skillz. He would say things like, "I love that you are a gamer," and "I can totally tell you think like a gamer by how you approach new rooms in prince of persia." What happened? I still don't know. I might have a few theories. Maybe he subconsciously didn't like that I was encroaching on his world. Maybe he expected me to play a certain way and when I didn't it really bothered him. He always said he had different expectations of me because I was his girlfriend. Maybe he was just a really controlling person. Maybe it was all of those things.
Four years of that shit. The relationship eventually dissolved.
Now, I still am a little gun shy. Game shy? But I have this awesome guy who is being really gentle with me about it. He is nurturing my game habit. He finds games he thinks I might like and suggests them. When he watches me play, he just watches and talks to me and encourages my silly outburst (I talk to video games, especially in boss fights, I talk some serious mad shit). When we play games together, he never yells at me, or take the controller unless I ask him to. He will play anything with me he thinks I will like, and doesn't force me to play shit I don't like. Although, as I get more comfortable playing games, I will obviously play more of his games with him.
I still shy away from it though. Sometimes I like the idea of it, but I never can get myself to do it. I have two games that I only started but never finished. I liked playing them - they are both very different games.
So, I come away from this little exercise of comparing experiences with several things.
First, I might start judging my relationships based on how the guy interacts with me while gaming.
Second, this was only one example of why I stopped playing games and could be a reason for many girls to stay clear of gaming. Is it that gaming is generally considered a boy activity and so they treat their girls like crap? That doesn't really make sense though, because most guys are turned on at the prospect of a girl gamer.
Third, is it interaction of the people? Maybe some couples just can't play games together. Or certain games. Maybe fewer girls play games because their significant other is controlling about it.
Fourth, what keeps the rest of them from the games? Is it that they don't really know that there are a ton of different types of games out there? Does it have to do with the way we think and process information? Are we just too damned busy doing everything else that we do? Did not enough girls have a big brother to introduce them? Is it that games are totally considered a boy thing, and if so, why is gender even an issue? Do games need to be marketed more to girls? Is there a way, if a guy truly wants their girl to game, for the gaming boyfriends of the world to get their girl into it?
On that last one, I wanna bet there are. I mean, my boyfriend's tactics worked well to get me back into playing games: Patience, finding things I actually liked, making a point to play the game WITH me and not FOR me.
I don't know. I think there is something here. I want to start talking to people and figuring out if they a)play games with their significant other, b) play games at all, and c) why or why not.
There are some interesting journal articles out there about women in the gaming world. I think I should probably start there. I have too many questions and when you work in my own experiences, it becomes a big mess, as demonstrated by this blurb.
Eventually, I would like to make this an actual paper, but for now, I am blogging it.
I am girl gamer. Okay, it's out. My big questions are - Why aren't there more of us? and Also, what is it that makes us want to or not want to play video games? i feel like, if I can answer that, I can answer the whole "why won't my girlfriend play video games?" question I am sure guys, well, at least hardcore gamer guys, sometimes wonder. I really come to these questions because I went through a weird phase where I completely stopped playing games. I am slowly getting back into it, but I dramatically swapped from games all the time to nothing. What happened? Why did I stop, why am I getting back into it now. I think in my case, it has to do with the relationships I was in and am in now. This could be a part of an answer to my question. So, I will start with this, my own personal experience, and then perhaps branch out to other possible reasons.
The thing is, I played video games since I was very young. I loved the Nintendo, and later the SNES, then the PS, PS2, and eventually my PS3. I loved playing computer games and console games. I loved the text based computer games for awhile, until we got a better computer and I could play doom, diablo, the 7th guest. OMG games. My older brother and I would network our computers together and game all the time. We would play in our separate bedrooms, using the game to chat. Total nerds. My girlfriend and i would stay up all night trying to beat one game or another. I remember when I brought the lion king to her house, she sat my ass down and I couldn't leave until the game was completed. When I got older, I would rush home from work - usually around 11pm because I worked at restaurant - head up to my room and play games until I passed out. When I met my now-ex-DB boyfriend, I told him I liked video games. It was one of the reasons he ended up pursuing me and asking me out. I played a few with him and then I just stopped.
WTF? I LOVED games, and all of a sudden, I avoided playing them. I would make up all kinds of excuses to get out of playing a game with him, yet when he got me the newest Spyro for Christmas, I totally put in the two 10 hour gaming sessions to beat it.
I think I now know why I stopped playing games with him, but it is really weird. I hated playing games with him because he was so controlling about it. I never did anything the right way. Instead of helping me in a new game by explaining something, he would just tell me what to do. n other circumstances, he would straight take the controller from me. Even games I liked and I was good at, he would act like I was a complete idiot. Only when it was just the two of us, though, which was weird. We would often have another couple or two over to play Diablo or Warhammer. I would reluctantly join, but then he would be really nice. Patronizing almost. I had been broken down to the point where I would ask him "Did I do okay? I held the beach really well, didn't I?" I needed his approval. It got so bad that I stopped even asking for help if I even tried to play a game. I would hand him the controller or ask him to tell me how to make a character. It made me not want to play.
Those two 10 hour gaming sessions I put in for my love of Spyro...I got through it, even when I would get stuck in place and he would try to take the controller, or say I must have done something wrong. I was like "Back teh fuck off, bitch. Spyro is MY game." Yea yea its a girl game, but whatever.
This is especially weird because when we started dating, it wasn't like that at all. He respected my mad skillz. He would say things like, "I love that you are a gamer," and "I can totally tell you think like a gamer by how you approach new rooms in prince of persia." What happened? I still don't know. I might have a few theories. Maybe he subconsciously didn't like that I was encroaching on his world. Maybe he expected me to play a certain way and when I didn't it really bothered him. He always said he had different expectations of me because I was his girlfriend. Maybe he was just a really controlling person. Maybe it was all of those things.
Four years of that shit. The relationship eventually dissolved.
Now, I still am a little gun shy. Game shy? But I have this awesome guy who is being really gentle with me about it. He is nurturing my game habit. He finds games he thinks I might like and suggests them. When he watches me play, he just watches and talks to me and encourages my silly outburst (I talk to video games, especially in boss fights, I talk some serious mad shit). When we play games together, he never yells at me, or take the controller unless I ask him to. He will play anything with me he thinks I will like, and doesn't force me to play shit I don't like. Although, as I get more comfortable playing games, I will obviously play more of his games with him.
I still shy away from it though. Sometimes I like the idea of it, but I never can get myself to do it. I have two games that I only started but never finished. I liked playing them - they are both very different games.
So, I come away from this little exercise of comparing experiences with several things.
First, I might start judging my relationships based on how the guy interacts with me while gaming.
Second, this was only one example of why I stopped playing games and could be a reason for many girls to stay clear of gaming. Is it that gaming is generally considered a boy activity and so they treat their girls like crap? That doesn't really make sense though, because most guys are turned on at the prospect of a girl gamer.
Third, is it interaction of the people? Maybe some couples just can't play games together. Or certain games. Maybe fewer girls play games because their significant other is controlling about it.
Fourth, what keeps the rest of them from the games? Is it that they don't really know that there are a ton of different types of games out there? Does it have to do with the way we think and process information? Are we just too damned busy doing everything else that we do? Did not enough girls have a big brother to introduce them? Is it that games are totally considered a boy thing, and if so, why is gender even an issue? Do games need to be marketed more to girls? Is there a way, if a guy truly wants their girl to game, for the gaming boyfriends of the world to get their girl into it?
On that last one, I wanna bet there are. I mean, my boyfriend's tactics worked well to get me back into playing games: Patience, finding things I actually liked, making a point to play the game WITH me and not FOR me.
I don't know. I think there is something here. I want to start talking to people and figuring out if they a)play games with their significant other, b) play games at all, and c) why or why not.
There are some interesting journal articles out there about women in the gaming world. I think I should probably start there. I have too many questions and when you work in my own experiences, it becomes a big mess, as demonstrated by this blurb.
Why do people freak out about sexuality?
I was watching some dumb television show yesterday. It was cancelled years ago, so it isn't even worth mentioning the name. That being said, I found myself extremely annoyed with the portrayal of the daughter, who is a lesbian.
The show lets the fact that she is a lesbian completely consume her character. It wasn't even done well - the whole thing was extremely over the top. I don't know if I was offended because people often think I am a lesbian (I've had exes accuse me of leaving them for a woman, which hasn't ever happened - yet), or that I have a girlfriend who is a strong, gorgeous, intelligent, polite, awesome lesbian, but I do know I was irritated.The character totally misrepresents the gay community. It made her completely an "other" and made her sexuality seem unnatural.
Why does gender freak people out so much that they have to put people in little boxes and file them away somewhere? Sexuality shouldn't really be based only on our gender. That's dumb. Why can't sexuality be person-driven? If you find someone attractive in every way, why would the gender become an issue? My boyfriend teases me about my "lesbianism." But, when it comes down to it, he doesn't care if I am attracted to women or not, as long as he "does it for me."
I don't know that I have enough knowledge of gender issues to really explore this topic, but it does make me think about our society and how everything seems to revolved around gender differences and what we are and are not allowed to do. What is and isn't natural.
My girlfriend pointed out that people are very put off by people who aren't like them, and by portraying gays as over the top they are sort of able to dehumanize them. They are the ultimate Other, she says. And, she is right.
Sexuality should totally just be person-driven. I'm in a serious relationship with a guy, but if i were single and a woman "did it for me," I would like to think I wouldn't be afraid to pursue that. But don't stress out and hide your women from me. I mostly just think they make good friends. :)
The show lets the fact that she is a lesbian completely consume her character. It wasn't even done well - the whole thing was extremely over the top. I don't know if I was offended because people often think I am a lesbian (I've had exes accuse me of leaving them for a woman, which hasn't ever happened - yet), or that I have a girlfriend who is a strong, gorgeous, intelligent, polite, awesome lesbian, but I do know I was irritated.The character totally misrepresents the gay community. It made her completely an "other" and made her sexuality seem unnatural.
Why does gender freak people out so much that they have to put people in little boxes and file them away somewhere? Sexuality shouldn't really be based only on our gender. That's dumb. Why can't sexuality be person-driven? If you find someone attractive in every way, why would the gender become an issue? My boyfriend teases me about my "lesbianism." But, when it comes down to it, he doesn't care if I am attracted to women or not, as long as he "does it for me."
I don't know that I have enough knowledge of gender issues to really explore this topic, but it does make me think about our society and how everything seems to revolved around gender differences and what we are and are not allowed to do. What is and isn't natural.
My girlfriend pointed out that people are very put off by people who aren't like them, and by portraying gays as over the top they are sort of able to dehumanize them. They are the ultimate Other, she says. And, she is right.
Sexuality should totally just be person-driven. I'm in a serious relationship with a guy, but if i were single and a woman "did it for me," I would like to think I wouldn't be afraid to pursue that. But don't stress out and hide your women from me. I mostly just think they make good friends. :)
Thursday, August 4, 2011
The Cave
I love this song. It is so powerful and passionate. When I first heard it, it struck me as a relationship song. When I read the lyrics, I was unfortunately stuck there for all of 10 minutes. Some of the words and phrases make it sound like the teller of the story had just come out of a serious relationship and was finding himself. I finally had to step back and say to myself, “self, every song in the history of the world can be interpreted as a relationship song. This band has to be better than that. They have to.” And so, I decided that I needed to analyze this song. I took the idea of the song being about two individuals out of the picture. I think this song is about much more than that. This singer is struggling with something and he sees us out here in the world struggling with the same thing. I think the song is about self-discovery. Mumford & Sons uses the idea of Plato’s Cave as a way to illustrate the conflict of self discovery. The pain and joy of it. The singer, or story teller, plays the role of the escaped prisoner. He has escaped the cave and seen the world, and in doing so is finding truth and self awareness. It becomes his task to shepherd the rest of the prisoners, or us, through the the struggle of facing your fear to leave behind the shadowed world you already know and walk out into the light. Thus, the singer is also going through a change by becoming the philosopher. Through this song tackles the struggle of discovering knowledge and how that affects us, as well as recognizing reality versus perceived reality. Here, the the escaped prisoner has returned to tell us this story, hoping to enlighten us. Too big? Maybe. Either way, let’s have at it, shall we?
Here are the lyrics:
The Cave
It's empty in the valley of your heart
The sun, it rises slowly as you walk
Away from all the fears
And all the faults you've left behind
The harvest left no food for you to eat
You cannibal, you meat-eater, you see
But I have seen the same
I know the shame in your defeat
But I will hold on hope
And I won't let you choke
On the noose around your neck
And I'll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways
I'll know my name as it's called again
Because I have other things to fill my time
You take what is yours and I'll take mine
Now let me at the truth
Which will refresh my broken mind
So tie me to a post and block my ears
I can see widows and orphans through my tears
I know my call despite my faults
And despite my growing fears
But I will hold on hope
And I won't let you choke
On the noose around your neck
And I'll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways
I'll know my name as it's called again
So come out of your cave walking on your hands
And see the world hanging upside down
You can understand dependence
When you know the maker's land
So make your siren's call
And sing all you want
I will not hear what you have to say
Because I need freedom now
And I need to know how
To live my life as it's meant to be
And I will hold on hope
And I won't let you choke
On the noose around your neck
And I'll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways
I'll know my name as it's called again
I want to start with the name, itself, The Cave. And, because it is my post, I will. “The Cave” to me, could symbolize the idea of being trapped or held back, away from the world and the light. Being in a cave is like being in the dark. You are sheltered. While it is safe, you experience nothing. You do not know reality and can only guess at what might be real. This is the obvious connection to Plato’s Cave. Those prisoners chained in the cave only believe that they perceive reality. Only upon escape from the cave does one actually see truth, or reality. Until that point, they are sheltered from everything.
The first verses in the song strike me as representing a struggle. The struggle of leaving the cave. The struggle, perhaps, for each one of us to see ourselves for all of our self. Good and bad alike. When living in a false reality, it would be both sorrowful and painful to finally see the world for what it is. One might even feel overwhelmed, defeated, or unable to make the journey. “it’s empty in the valley of your heart/ the sun it rises slowly as you walk/ Away from all the fears/ and all the faults you’ve left behind.” There is a sadness here. A person becomes aware of a meaningless life - the valley of your heart is empty. But as you learn to walk from that, the sun rises. Enlightenment. The next lines “The harvest left no food for you to eat/ you cannibal, you meat-eater, you see/ But I have seen the same/ I know the shame in your defeat.” I think this set of lines explains that the storyteller is aware of the pain endured by those who have not left the cave. Those that are enduring the life without knowledge of one’s self. It is shameful and painful, to be starved of what makes us human. Consumption of and sharing knowledge. The escaped prisoner knows this now.
The first verses of the song are also a slower tempo. It is almost a reassuring sound. An air of understanding, even. As if to say, “I know what you are going through, and it is okay.”
The chorus, by contrast, is almost consuming. The speed picks up and the sound becomes almost triumphant. It feels here that the storyteller is almost belting out a battle cry. We can face the pain of finding ourselves and learning who we are. We do not need to be bound by the perceived realities from walking our own path. The chorus also signifies that this is an ongoing battle. It causes ongoing pain. “And I will hold on hope/And I won't let you choke/On the noose around your neck.” The pain it can bring can gives only strength to change ourselves. The result will be knowing our true selves. “And I'll find strength in pain/ And I will change my ways/ I'll know my name as it's called again”
In the next verse, the music sounds forceful and deliberate. The storyteller is making a statement. The the storyteller is saying that there are important things outside of the cave. These “things” are highly individual, as they have to do with the process of self-discovery. The storyteller then seems almost to see, “let’s go get ‘em!” Seize the knowledge, it is yours, it will make you a whole person, not just a prisoner chained to the inside of the cave that knows nothing about the world. It is finding this and becoming whole that makes the struggle and the pain worth it. “Because I have other things to fill my time/You take what is yours and I'll take mine/Now let me at the truth/Which will refresh my broken mind.”
The next verse speaks to me as a statement of awareness. Knowing what one has to do despite the fear and consequences. You can only try to hold back the determined. They will know the world anyway, in spite of faults and fears. The sound of the song is almost desperate. “So tie me to a post and block my ears/ I can see widows and orphans through my tears/ I know my call despite my faults/ And despite my growing fears [chorus here]”
This iteration of the chorus seems bigger. We now see harmonies. Almost to signify the frenzy of which the story is being told. And perhaps to show that slowly, more people are belieiving the storyteller. They say, “listen. I know there is desperation but I believe in you and I believe in us.”
The next part of the song feels like we are being beckoned to come out and see the world, ourselves, and what we were. The music gives that feeling, too. The song switches from this frenzy, this passionate desire to impart knowledge to a quieter, gentler feel. The storyteller uses the phrase to come out walking on your hands and see the world upside down because everything will look different. On the outside, in the actual world, everything is new. And, once they stand outside looking in, they will understand how trapped they have been. The will know the construct they have been living in. “So come out of your cave walking on your hands/ And see the world hanging upside down/ You can understand dependence/ When you know the aker's land.”
The next lines are an challenge to those who might keep the storyteller from remaining an individual, fully aware of himself. o never return to the state of captivity the cave creates. No amount of convincing or lies will lead the singer back to darkness. The music is the same melody as the chorus, but there is no harmony this time. It is a single, strong voice, issuing a challenge almost. “I will not go back to that state of being,” it seems to sing. “So make your siren's call/ And sing all you want /I will not hear what you have to say.”
The next three lines are a state clearly the need to live as an enlightened individual. To have self awareness makes us free. Once reality has been seen and the internal struggle made to become enlightened, it is time to see how to live your life according to that knowledge. False realities replaced by truth leaves us with the need to redefine ourselves. Free from the cave and out to live the way life was meant to be lived. As you. Again, the music is the same as the chorus, but this time, the harmonies have returned, making it this strong cry out. This is the way it must be! “Because I need freedom now/ And I need to know how/ To live my life as it's meant to be”
And then back into the chorus. “And I will hold on hope/ And I won't let you choke On the noose around your neck/ And I'll find strength in pain/ And I will change my ways /I'll know my name as it's called again” The sound of the final chorus is the brightest yet. Passionately, we are called out into the light. Called into life. Then, it is quiet. No trailing off. The song just ends. The story is done. We can choose to go learn our true selves or remain in the dark.
I have no idea if that is correct or not. Seems almost too simple, so it has to be wrong. :) I like this interpretation better than the relationship theory, which seems to be pretty popular. I would much rather think of the band, who loves music and wants to create songs that make a difference, would play the part of the escaped prisoner and help us all see the truth and guide us through our own self discovery. So, that is where I will leave it in my little head.
Here are the lyrics:
The Cave
It's empty in the valley of your heart
The sun, it rises slowly as you walk
Away from all the fears
And all the faults you've left behind
The harvest left no food for you to eat
You cannibal, you meat-eater, you see
But I have seen the same
I know the shame in your defeat
But I will hold on hope
And I won't let you choke
On the noose around your neck
And I'll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways
I'll know my name as it's called again
Because I have other things to fill my time
You take what is yours and I'll take mine
Now let me at the truth
Which will refresh my broken mind
So tie me to a post and block my ears
I can see widows and orphans through my tears
I know my call despite my faults
And despite my growing fears
But I will hold on hope
And I won't let you choke
On the noose around your neck
And I'll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways
I'll know my name as it's called again
So come out of your cave walking on your hands
And see the world hanging upside down
You can understand dependence
When you know the maker's land
So make your siren's call
And sing all you want
I will not hear what you have to say
Because I need freedom now
And I need to know how
To live my life as it's meant to be
And I will hold on hope
And I won't let you choke
On the noose around your neck
And I'll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways
I'll know my name as it's called again
I want to start with the name, itself, The Cave. And, because it is my post, I will. “The Cave” to me, could symbolize the idea of being trapped or held back, away from the world and the light. Being in a cave is like being in the dark. You are sheltered. While it is safe, you experience nothing. You do not know reality and can only guess at what might be real. This is the obvious connection to Plato’s Cave. Those prisoners chained in the cave only believe that they perceive reality. Only upon escape from the cave does one actually see truth, or reality. Until that point, they are sheltered from everything.
The first verses in the song strike me as representing a struggle. The struggle of leaving the cave. The struggle, perhaps, for each one of us to see ourselves for all of our self. Good and bad alike. When living in a false reality, it would be both sorrowful and painful to finally see the world for what it is. One might even feel overwhelmed, defeated, or unable to make the journey. “it’s empty in the valley of your heart/ the sun it rises slowly as you walk/ Away from all the fears/ and all the faults you’ve left behind.” There is a sadness here. A person becomes aware of a meaningless life - the valley of your heart is empty. But as you learn to walk from that, the sun rises. Enlightenment. The next lines “The harvest left no food for you to eat/ you cannibal, you meat-eater, you see/ But I have seen the same/ I know the shame in your defeat.” I think this set of lines explains that the storyteller is aware of the pain endured by those who have not left the cave. Those that are enduring the life without knowledge of one’s self. It is shameful and painful, to be starved of what makes us human. Consumption of and sharing knowledge. The escaped prisoner knows this now.
The first verses of the song are also a slower tempo. It is almost a reassuring sound. An air of understanding, even. As if to say, “I know what you are going through, and it is okay.”
The chorus, by contrast, is almost consuming. The speed picks up and the sound becomes almost triumphant. It feels here that the storyteller is almost belting out a battle cry. We can face the pain of finding ourselves and learning who we are. We do not need to be bound by the perceived realities from walking our own path. The chorus also signifies that this is an ongoing battle. It causes ongoing pain. “And I will hold on hope/And I won't let you choke/On the noose around your neck.” The pain it can bring can gives only strength to change ourselves. The result will be knowing our true selves. “And I'll find strength in pain/ And I will change my ways/ I'll know my name as it's called again”
In the next verse, the music sounds forceful and deliberate. The storyteller is making a statement. The the storyteller is saying that there are important things outside of the cave. These “things” are highly individual, as they have to do with the process of self-discovery. The storyteller then seems almost to see, “let’s go get ‘em!” Seize the knowledge, it is yours, it will make you a whole person, not just a prisoner chained to the inside of the cave that knows nothing about the world. It is finding this and becoming whole that makes the struggle and the pain worth it. “Because I have other things to fill my time/You take what is yours and I'll take mine/Now let me at the truth/Which will refresh my broken mind.”
The next verse speaks to me as a statement of awareness. Knowing what one has to do despite the fear and consequences. You can only try to hold back the determined. They will know the world anyway, in spite of faults and fears. The sound of the song is almost desperate. “So tie me to a post and block my ears/ I can see widows and orphans through my tears/ I know my call despite my faults/ And despite my growing fears [chorus here]”
This iteration of the chorus seems bigger. We now see harmonies. Almost to signify the frenzy of which the story is being told. And perhaps to show that slowly, more people are belieiving the storyteller. They say, “listen. I know there is desperation but I believe in you and I believe in us.”
The next part of the song feels like we are being beckoned to come out and see the world, ourselves, and what we were. The music gives that feeling, too. The song switches from this frenzy, this passionate desire to impart knowledge to a quieter, gentler feel. The storyteller uses the phrase to come out walking on your hands and see the world upside down because everything will look different. On the outside, in the actual world, everything is new. And, once they stand outside looking in, they will understand how trapped they have been. The will know the construct they have been living in. “So come out of your cave walking on your hands/ And see the world hanging upside down/ You can understand dependence/ When you know the aker's land.”
The next lines are an challenge to those who might keep the storyteller from remaining an individual, fully aware of himself. o never return to the state of captivity the cave creates. No amount of convincing or lies will lead the singer back to darkness. The music is the same melody as the chorus, but there is no harmony this time. It is a single, strong voice, issuing a challenge almost. “I will not go back to that state of being,” it seems to sing. “So make your siren's call/ And sing all you want /I will not hear what you have to say.”
The next three lines are a state clearly the need to live as an enlightened individual. To have self awareness makes us free. Once reality has been seen and the internal struggle made to become enlightened, it is time to see how to live your life according to that knowledge. False realities replaced by truth leaves us with the need to redefine ourselves. Free from the cave and out to live the way life was meant to be lived. As you. Again, the music is the same as the chorus, but this time, the harmonies have returned, making it this strong cry out. This is the way it must be! “Because I need freedom now/ And I need to know how/ To live my life as it's meant to be”
And then back into the chorus. “And I will hold on hope/ And I won't let you choke On the noose around your neck/ And I'll find strength in pain/ And I will change my ways /I'll know my name as it's called again” The sound of the final chorus is the brightest yet. Passionately, we are called out into the light. Called into life. Then, it is quiet. No trailing off. The song just ends. The story is done. We can choose to go learn our true selves or remain in the dark.
I have no idea if that is correct or not. Seems almost too simple, so it has to be wrong. :) I like this interpretation better than the relationship theory, which seems to be pretty popular. I would much rather think of the band, who loves music and wants to create songs that make a difference, would play the part of the escaped prisoner and help us all see the truth and guide us through our own self discovery. So, that is where I will leave it in my little head.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Can Haz Blog?
Here I am world of blogs. I am much undecided as to whether or not this is a good thing.
You know, I wrote several different “first entries.” I deleted them all. I have decided I don’t want to introduce this blog my explaining my master plan for it. Mostly because I have none. I am just here to write. About what? Who knows.
Right now, I am mostly interested in my morning. Morning comes to us in different ways. Sometimes, it is a rude awakening caused by the blare of an alarm. Sometimes, the garbage truck on garbage day. Sometimes, the air just feels right and we wake up. Today, the gray of Morning came to me in the form of a little gray kitty. She started very far away. Calling and crying at me. I must have been lost in the night, you see, because Morning was trying to find me. She crept up to the bed and hopped up on it. She padded across the bed and stepped up onto my back. This Morning was very kind to me. She gave me a lovely massage, laced with “wake the fuck up” acupuncture. Morning's name was Jewel today.
I love our kitties. :)
You know, I wrote several different “first entries.” I deleted them all. I have decided I don’t want to introduce this blog my explaining my master plan for it. Mostly because I have none. I am just here to write. About what? Who knows.
Right now, I am mostly interested in my morning. Morning comes to us in different ways. Sometimes, it is a rude awakening caused by the blare of an alarm. Sometimes, the garbage truck on garbage day. Sometimes, the air just feels right and we wake up. Today, the gray of Morning came to me in the form of a little gray kitty. She started very far away. Calling and crying at me. I must have been lost in the night, you see, because Morning was trying to find me. She crept up to the bed and hopped up on it. She padded across the bed and stepped up onto my back. This Morning was very kind to me. She gave me a lovely massage, laced with “wake the fuck up” acupuncture. Morning's name was Jewel today.
I love our kitties. :)
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